Stephanie
by Kate P
Summary: Adam blames Joe for the death of his fiancee


THIS STORY IS WRITTEN FOR PLEASURE NOT PROFIT AND IS NOT MEANT TO INFRINGE ON ANY KNOWN COPYRIGHT  
  
STEPHANIE  
  
A Bonanza Story  
  
by Kate  
  
Joe Cartwright was bored; he fidgeted impatiently in his seat longing for the concert to come to an end. Glancing sideways at his elder brother, Adam, seated next to him he saw that the older man appeared enthralled by the music that swelled around them. Beethoven was not Joe's idea of music at all; he'd come along with Adam reluctantly, Adam insisting that his youngest brother should experience a little culture whilst the two were in San Francisco. Joe had protested that he'd really rather go to a bar, or a vaudeville show, but Adam was persistent and eventually Joe had given in. At long, long last, or so it seemed to Joe the concert concluded. Adam looked round and smiled at his brother, he'd noticed Joe's boredom.  
  
" Time for a beer, eh Joe?" He asked now.  
  
"You bet." Joe was up out of the seat immediately and followed Adam across the street to the imposing hotel where they had eaten dinner the previous evening. They found a table and Adam gave their order to the formally dressed waiter.  
  
Sitting back in his chair Adam sighed contentedly. "Wonderful concert, eh buddy?" He addressed his brother.  
  
"Mmmm..." Joe murmured noncommittally, he was looking around the large room. The decoration was opulent, red wallpaper and carpet gave a warm feel, the tables were highly polished, glassware sparkling. Couples or businessmen occupied most of the tables, but Joe's attention was drawn to a young woman who sat alone at a table near the entrance, she appeared to be looking in his direction. Joe smiled at her and was somewhat surprised when she ignored him, young ladies didn't usually ignore Joe who was a handsome young man with curly brown hair and flashing green eyes. She continued to look in his direction, however and it suddenly occurred to Joe that she was actually studying his brother. Oh well, he thought, she looked to be nearer Adam's age than his anyway, and there was no accounting for taste.  
  
"Hey, Adam." He nudged his brother's arm and motioned with his head towards the young woman. "Looks like you've got an admirer."  
  
Adam glanced in the direction that Joe indicated, the young woman smiled at him.  
  
As Adam turned back to his drink Joe was amused to see a slight flush on his brothers cheeks. "You gonna speak to her?" He enquired. Adam shook his head no. "Aw. " Joe began then looking up saw that the young woman had risen from the table and was heading in their direction. "Hey, Adam." Joe whispered urgently. "She's coming over."  
  
"Excusez moi, Monsieur." The voice was light and attractive. "You must think I am very forward, but I saw you at the concert, it was very beautiful was it not?"  
  
"Yes." Adam stood up. "It was very good. Would you care to join us Miss...?"  
  
"Chabot, Mademoiselle Stephanie Chabot and I would be most pleased to join you to discuss the concert."  
  
Adam introduced himself and Joe then pulled out a chair for Mademoiselle Chabot.  
  
She was a pretty young woman, Joe thought watching as she talked animatedly with Adam, very expensively dressed.  
  
Over the next hour Stephanie told them that she was from Nantes in South West France, her father Andre Chabot was a wine exporter and was in San Francisco on business, she had accompanied him to America as her mother, who usually travelled with him, had sadly died the previous year.  
  
Joe watched as his brother and Stephanie talked, though addressing the occasional remark to Joe she kept her attention almost wholly fixed on Adam and he seemed just as interested in her.  
  
The three looked up as an older man approached the table. "Papa" exclaimed Stephanie. "Your business is finished for the evening?"  
  
"It is." Her father replied, he looked at the Cartwrights. "I don't believe I have had the pleasure of meeting your friends."  
  
Adam extended a handshake to Monsieur Chabot and introduced himself and Joe  
  
"Very good to meet you." Chabot looked at his daughter. "Time we retired for the night Cherie."  
  
"My brother and I are in San Francisco for a few more days." Adam spoke up quickly "We would be honoured if yourself and Mademoiselle Chabot would join us for dinner at our hotel tomorrow."  
  
"That would be most pleasant." Chabot smiled at Adam. "We look forward to it."  
  
Adam gave the older man directions to the hotel where he and Joe were staying and then the Chabots made their farewells.  
  
"Well, well." Teased Joe when the two brothers were alone once more. "She was sure smitten with you."  
  
Adam usually so cool, calm and collected reddened perceptibly and Joe dissolved into laughter.  
  
****  
  
The meal the following evening passed off well. Joe spent the time telling Monsieur Chabot all about the Cartwright ranch, the Ponderosa, about his father and his other brother Hoss, whilst Adam and Stephanie discussed music and literature. It was obvious both to Monsieur Chabot and Joe that the two were very attracted to each other.  
  
The next few days passed quickly by, Joe found himself left to his own devices most of the time as Adam escorted Stephanie to concerts, plays and the opera.  
  
"Be good to get home and see Pa and Hoss." Joe remarked to Adam as they checked out of the hotel preparatory to beginning their journey back home to Nevada.  
  
"Yes." Adam turned to look at his younger brother. "When we do get home Joe I've got something to say to Pa, I'm going to tell you now because you know about Stephanie, but you let me tell Pa myself all right?"  
  
Joe nodded in agreement "Something about you and Stephanie?" He asked.  
  
Adam smiled. "I've asked her to marry me and she's accepted."  
  
"That's great, Adam," Joe grinned delightedly.  
  
"Thanks, buddy." his brother returned the grin. "I've invited Monsieur Chabot and Stephanie to visit the Ponderosa, they should arrive about a week after we get home and then we'll announce our engagement and I don't want Pa to know about it till then little brother, do I make myself clear?"  
  
Joe assented grudgingly, he was happy for Adam and he knew his father would be delighted, it would be hard not to let some hint slip before Stephanie's arrival.  
  
****  
  
The four Cartwrights waited at the stage depot for the arrival of the Chabots. Adam had simply told his father that he and Joe had met Monsieur Chabot and Stephanie in San Francisco and invited them to visit the Ponderosa before their return to France. As he had promised his brother Joe had said nothing more but he glanced across at Adam now and gave his brother a knowing wink.  
  
Adam frowned back at him then turned eagerly as the stage thundered into town.  
  
Monsieur Chabot was the first passenger to alight; he assisted his daughter from the stage then turned to greet Adam and his family.  
  
"Welcome to Virginia City, Monsieur Chabot, Stephanie." Ben smiled after Adam had introduced him. "We are very pleased to have you as our guests."  
  
"And we are most grateful for your hospitality, Monsieur." Chabot replied.  
  
Adam helped Stephanie and her father into the buggy as his father and brothers mounted their horse and the convoy rode out for the Ponderosa.  
  
****  
  
"When are you going to tell him Adam?" Joe asked his older brother impatiently.  
  
The two were out by the stable late that evening, dinner was long over and the Chabots had retired for the night tired from their long journey.  
  
When Adam had left the house for a walk Joe had swiftly offered to accompany him  
  
"We thought tomorrow evening might be a good time." Adam told his brother now. "Give Stephanie and her father time to settle in and get to know Pa a little."  
  
"They seemed to get on fine tonight." Joe said.  
  
"Yes, Stephanie told me she thought Pa was very nice." Adam smiled. "And she is impressed with the Ponderosa, which is a good thing as she's going to be living here."  
  
Joe was pleased to hear that his brother would be remaining at the Ponderosa, he had thought that Stephanie might want to return to France to live after the wedding and he would have greatly missed his brother who had already spent years studying away from the ranch.  
  
****  
  
The next day dawned fine and sunny. Adam offered to take the Chabots on a tour of the ranch, Ben decided to join them, having first despatched his two younger sons to their chores.  
  
"Adam seems mighty fond of that there little lady." Hoss remarked to Joe as they rode up to the north pasture to check fences.  
  
"I think he is." Joe replied carefully.  
  
"I heard him telling Hop Sing that he wanted a real special dinner tonight." Hoss told him. "Somethin' goin' on I reckon, what do you think Joe?"  
  
Joe considered his answer, Hoss had already half guessed he reasoned, it surely wouldn't hurt to let him know - just so long as Adam never knew he'd told. "Keep a secret Hoss?" He asked eventually. Hoss nodded in assent. "Adam and Stephanie are getting married, they're going to tell Pa tonight." Joe blurted out.  
  
"Dagnabit, that's great news." Hoss' big face split with a huge grin.  
  
"Don't tell Adam I told you." Joe warned him quickly. "I wasn't supposed to say anything, but you had nearly guessed."  
  
Hoss assured him that when Adam made the announcement he'd act as though it was a big surprise.  
  
****  
  
"Well that's wonderful, Adam, Stephanie, I'm very pleased for you both." Ben smiled in delight as Adam announced the engagement.  
  
"Dadburnit Adam if that ain't the best news." Hoss clapped his older brother on the back.  
  
"We'll have the engagement party next week." Ben told Stephanie. "That is, if it's all right with you and Adam."  
  
"But of course." Stephanie laughed. "The sooner the better Monsieur Cartwright, we would very much like the wedding to take place before Papa has to leave for France."  
  
"You must call me Ben, and of course your father must be here for the wedding, now I believe Hop Sing has dinner ready." Ben escorted his soon to be daughter-in-law to her seat.  
  
As Joe started toward the table he felt Adam's hand on the back of his neck. "You told Hoss didn't you?" Adam whispered.  
  
"I didn't mean to Adam, he sort of guessed, and, well, I guess it just...Sorry."  
  
"Oh, never mind." Adam shook his head in fond exasperation. "At least you didn't tell Pa, or you'd have been in big trouble. Come on." He smiled. "Let's eat."  
  
Hop Sing had certainly surpassed himself that evening, the meal was magnificent. Afterwards Adam and Stephanie left for a walk, Monsieur Chabot pronounced himself exhausted and retired to bed.  
  
"Guess I'll turn in too, Pa, G'night, G'night Joe." Hoss also retired to bed.  
  
"Well." Said Ben to his youngest son who was sitting on the couch reading "I'm surprised you managed not to tell me about this before."  
  
"Adam wanted it kept a secret." Joe replied looking up at his father. "He wanted to tell you himself."  
  
"And he thinks I didn't already know." Ben smiled, filling his pipe. "I could see as soon as you got back from San Francisco that something was up, you've been itching to tell me and Adam's been lost in a dream half the time, then as soon as Stephanie arrived I guessed what was going on. Still," he continued. "I'm very pleased for them, Stephanie seems a fine young woman, I'm sure that she will make your brother very happy."  
  
But Ben did have reservations and the next morning he took the opportunity to have a word with Adam and the Chabot's over breakfast as Hoss and Joe had left early to go into Virginia City on Ponderosa business.  
  
"The only thing that concerns me." He told his son. "Is how quickly this has all happened, I mean you hardly know each other."  
  
Adam glanced at Stephanie and smiled before he replied to his father. "We knew right away how we felt." He told Ben.  
  
"And anyway Ben." Monsieur Chabot interrupted. "I feel that Adam would really not have had much say in it, my daughter is a very determined girl." He smiled fondly at Stephanie. "Once she saw Adam at the concert in San Francisco she was determined to get to know him."  
  
"And was I not right." Laughed Stephanie. "I knew Adam was the man for me."  
  
"There's no need to worry, Pa." Adam reassured his father. "We know what we're doing. It would be nice to have had a longer engagement." He conceded. "But Stephanie really wants her father here for the wedding and Andre must return to France soon."  
  
Ben could see how much Adam and Stephanie cared for each other even after so short a time, he decided that he must put any doubts aside and be pleased that his eldest son had found such happiness.  
  
****  
  
Over the next few days Stephanie began to get to know her future home. Ben offered to help Adam build a house for the newly-weds, an offer Adam gratefully accepted, it was decided that they would not commence work on it until after the wedding however, so that Monsieur Chabot could spend as much time as possible with his daughter and future son-in-law before he had to leave for France, which would be immediately after the wedding. Until the house was completed the couple would live at the Ponderosa.  
  
The engagement party was a joyous affair with all the Cartwright's friends and neighbours arriving to wish the betrothed couple happiness. The dancing and festivities went on late into the night and it was a weary group who sat down to breakfast the next morning.  
  
"I spoke to the minister last night, Pa." Adam addressed his father. "We'll make the wedding the Saturday after next if that's agreeable to you?"  
  
"Then we'd better sort out who you want to invite." Ben replied. "We'll need to wire anyone who needs to travel far because there is no time for a letter."  
  
"If you do not object, Ben." Interjected Stephanie. "Adam and I would prefer a quiet wedding with just the family and a very few friends."  
  
Ben readily agreed though he could see that both Hoss and Joe were a little disappointed that there would be no large party.  
  
"Hop Sing make cake." Spoke up the little Chinese cook as he cleared the table. "Hop Sing make very good wedding cake."  
  
"I have no doubt that it will be the finest cake I have ever eaten." Stephanie laughed.  
  
Hoss rose to his feet and fetched his hat. "C'mon Joe." He called to his younger brother. "There's work needs a doin'."  
  
"And what are you doing this morning Joseph?" Monsieur Chabot enquired as Joe got up to join Hoss.  
  
"I've got some horses need breaking down at the corral." Joe told him. "You could come and watch if you like."  
  
"I would enjoy that very much." Monsieur Chabot replied. "Stephanie will you accompany us?" He asked his daughter.  
  
"Oui, Papa." Stephanie answered. "I have ridden much in France." She told Joe. "I am very fond of horses."  
  
"Well these aren't ready for riding just yet." Joe grinned. "But they soon will be."  
  
Ben watched the four leave the house then turned to Adam. "Well." He said. "Time to get on with these wedding plans."  
  
****  
  
  
Joe enjoyed showing off his horse breaking skills to the Chabots and they appeared to enjoy watching.  
  
"I would very much like to try that myself." Stephanie remarked as they strolled back to the ranch house later.  
  
"It's far too dangerous." Joe exclaimed.  
  
"Oh, and why is that." She laughed. "Because I am only a woman, not a man?"  
  
"Well yes, no, I mean, these horses are wild." He explained. "You need to be a very experienced rider to handle them."  
  
"And am I not an experienced rider, Papa?" Stephanie asked her father.  
  
"Experienced, yes." Her father counselled. "But not of these wild beasts, I think Cherie, that young Joseph is right about this."  
  
Stephanie muttered something in French under her breath, but she changed the subject readily enough to the forthcoming wedding.  
  
Two days later however Joe was once again at the corral, he had just dismounted from the horse he had been riding, giving the reigns to one of the ranch hands.  
  
"You have just broken that one, yes?" Joe looked up to see Stephanie standing on the bottom rung of the corral fence.  
  
"Well I've done the first part." Joe told her. "But there's a lot more work to do with him yet before he becomes a reliable mount."  
  
"I would like to ride him now." Stephanie stated firmly. "While he is still a little wild."  
  
"You can't." Joe protested. "It's too dangerous."  
  
Stephanie ignored his words and climbed over the corral fence, she was dressed for riding Joe noted as she approached the horse now tethered to the fence.  
  
"I am going to ride him, Joe." She said. "I want to do this."  
  
"Your father said no, and Adam wouldn't want you to." Joe grabbed her arm to stop her as she approached the horse.  
  
Annoyed, she shook him off. "Do you think I have no mind of my own?" She asked angrily. "I will do this."  
  
Worried, Joe debated what he should do, he could hardly manhandle his brothers fiancée out of the corral, if he went to fetch Adam he wouldn't get here in time to stop her, he grabbed the reigns as Stephanie mounted. "Don't do this." He pleaded. "It's too dangerous."  
  
"Let go of him Joe." Stephanie told him firmly.  
  
"Don't do this." Joe said again.  
  
"I said let go." Stephanie bent suddenly and pulled the reins from him, wheeling the horse about. The sudden movement startled the animal and it reared up, Stephanie's scream split the air as she fell, hitting her head on the corral fence, and lay still  
  
"Stephanie!" Joe yelled running toward her, ignoring the horse who retreated to the other side of the corral. Shaken he knelt beside Stephanie, her eyes were open but unmoving, her head bent at an unnatural angle, Joe could see at once that she was dead, her neck broken.  
  
He was aware of movement beyond the fence as others arrived summoned by Stephanie's scream, and then Adam was beside him pushing Joe roughly aside, he gathered Stephanie gently in his arms, tears running down his face.  
  
"Adam I'm so sorry." Joe put a hand on his brother's arm, Adam shook him off angrily, holding Stephanie close he rounded on his younger brother.  
  
"This is your fault." He shouted. "Why in God's name did you let her ride that horse?"  
  
"Adam, I tried to stop her..." Joe began but Adam's angry words cut across his explanation.  
  
"You let her do this Joe, it's your fault, your fault she's dead."  
  
Joe stepped back, the sting of his brothers accusation causing tears to well in his eyes, blinking them back rapidly he turned to see his father and Monsieur Chabot approaching.  
  
"Joseph!" Ben exclaimed seeing the anguish on his son's face. "What's happened?"  
  
"It's Stephanie." Joe gestured to where Adam still knelt holding the body of his fiancée. "Adam needs you, Pa, tell him I tried to stop her, please tell him I tried." With that Joe pushed past his father and headed for the house.  
  
"Stephanie!, non, mon Dieu, non!" He heard behind him as Monsieur Chabot reached his daughters side.  
  
****  
  
They laid Stephanie's body out in the room she had been occupying and Adam sat with her there. The doctor had been and gone and the minister was now talking to Monsieur Chabot arranging the funeral. Hoss was seated on the couch staring into the fireplace when Ben entered the house; he had been talking to the hands who had been at the corral determining exactly what had happened.  
  
"Where's Joseph?" He asked Hoss.  
  
"In his room I guess, Pa." Hoss looked up. "He did try to stop her, Pa, he told me, he's pretty cut up about it."  
  
"I know." Ben smiled sadly at Hoss. "I just hope I can make Adam understand."  
  
Leaving Hoss, Ben ascended the stairs to Joe's room, he knocked softly, hearing Joe's muffled "Come in" he pushed the door open and entered the room.  
  
Joe was sitting on the bed, his eyes looked bleary and his hair tousled leading Ben to surmise that he had been sleeping. He looks so young, Ben thought and so distressed  
  
Ben crossed to his son and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, Joe looked down at the floor. "Look at me, Joseph." Ben instructed.  
  
Joe raised his head, the green eyes wary as if he expected condemnation from his parent as well as his brother. "I did try to stop her, Pa." He said softly. "I truly did."  
  
"I know that, Joe." Ben told him. "It's not your fault, Monsieur Chabot told me how determined Stephanie was."  
  
"Adam blames me." Joe stated.  
  
"Adam is so upset that he'd blame anyone right now." His father counselled. "Anyone except Stephanie, he'll realise that it wasn't your fault in time."  
  
"He was so happy." Joe looked at his father sadly. "I don't think I've ever seen Adam so happy, suppose he never forgives me Pa?"  
  
"He will Joseph, he will." Ben gently caressed his sons tousled hair, he knew how much this was hurting his sensitive youngest child, Joe always seemed to feel things so deeply and the approval of his eldest brother was very important to him.  
  
****  
  
  
The cemetery was crowded for Stephanie's funeral, the four Cartwrights stood with Monsieur Chabot next to the graveside as the minister delivered his eulogy. As the coffin was lowered into the ground Adam and Monsieur Chabot stepped forward to throw flowers down on top of it.  
  
The service over, people descended on Adam and Monsieur Chabot to offer their condolences, the same people who a few short days ago had been offering their congratulations.  
  
Hoss and Joe walked back toward their horses to wait for their father, brother and Stephanie's father. It was sometime before the three broke away from the many friends offering sympathy and headed toward the buggy. As Adam reached them Hoss laid a gentle hand on his arm, Adam turned to look at his two younger brothers, his eyes, red rimmed, hardened perceptibly as they fell on Joe "I'll never forgive you for this, Joe." He spat out. "Never!"  
  
"I tried to stop her, Adam." Joe protested. "Honestly, I tried."  
  
"You could have stopped her." Adam returned angrily, his hands, Ben noted, had formed into fists. He moved forward swiftly and laid a restraining hand on his elder sons arm  
  
"Take Monsieur Chabot home, Adam." He told him softly. "He needs to rest."  
  
Indeed Monsieur Chabot looked exhausted, the ordeal of the past few days taking their toll.  
  
Wordlessly Adam obeyed his father, helping Andre into the buggy and heading for the Ponderosa.  
  
"It'll be all right, Little Joe." Hoss assured his younger brother as they watched the buggy depart. "Adam's greivin' is all, he'll realise you ain't to blame."  
  
"He's right though." Joe muttered. "I should have tried harder to stop her."  
  
"Stephanie was a very determined young woman." Ben told his son placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I doubt you could have stopped her short of carrying her out of that corral and she would have hated you for that. You are not to blame yourself for this Joseph, and eventually Adam will see that too."  
  
****  
  
  
The following weeks were a sombre time at the Ponderosa; Adam spoke not one word to his younger brother, directing any conversation at Andre, Hoss or Ben.  
  
The day that would have been Adam and Stephanie's wedding day was particularly bad. Joe made himself scarce most of the time; he couldn't bear the way Adam looked at him. He was in the stable grooming Cochise when he heard a footfall behind him, turning he saw Andre Chabot.  
  
"May I talk with you Joseph?" the Frenchman asked.  
  
Joe nodded in assent and Andre smiled sadly at him. "I am so very sorry for the trouble between you and Adam." He began. "But I must tell you that I personally do not blame you in any way, I know my daughter, how determined she was, if you had stopped her riding then she would only have returned later." Joe felt part of the burden of guilt he had been carrying lift with Andre's words. "I have tried to convince Adam that this accident was of Stephanie's own making." Andre shook his head. "But he will not listen to me, I will try to talk to him again on our journey to San Francisco."  
  
"You're leaving?" Joe looked at the older man as the full impact of his words registered. "And Adam is going with you?"  
  
"Yes, Adam is escorting me to San Francisco to start my journey home." Andre confirmed.  
  
Adam, however, had much more than that in mind as he told his father at dinner that night. He intended to go with Andre to San Francisco but he did not intend to return to the Ponderosa. Joe's heart sank as he listened miserably to his brother, he felt as though he was driving Adam away.  
  
"I just don't want to be here at the moment, Pa." Adam was saying. "I don't know when I'll be back, but I need time on my own, I need to think, to come to terms with this."  
  
Ben assured him that he understood, though he would have preferred it if Adam was at home where he belonged. He told his eldest son to take as much time as he needed, just to let them know where he was from time to time.  
  
****  
  
  
The ranch was quiet without Adam around, without being asked Joe took on much of the extra work that his brother's absence generated. He also, Ben found out from Hoss, took care of Stephanie's grave, visiting each time he went into Virginia City. Ben knew that Joe felt it was his fault that Adam had left and was worried that his brother wouldn't return.  
  
One evening after Joe had yet again gone early to bed, exhausted, Ben looking in on his sons as he often did before he himself went to bed, found his youngest still awake. "Can't sleep Joe?" He asked softly, crossing to sit on the edge of the bed.  
  
"I'm really tired, Pa." Joe regarded his father gravely. "But I just can't stop thinking about things."  
  
Ben nodded. "Adam." He stated.  
  
"Yes." Joe hesitated for a moment then carried on quickly. "Say he doesn't come back, Pa, say he never forgives me, then he'll never come home and it'll be all my fault."  
  
Ben considered his sons words, he also worried that Adam might not return, though he hoped with all his heart that he would. Regarding Joe's bent head, Ben recalled Adam and Joe together in the past, he remembered the amazed wonderment on Adam's face as he and Marie had introduced him to his tiny baby brother, the way Adam had helped his father care for the small boy after Marie's tragic death, with the large difference in age Adam was never as close to Joe as Hoss was, he was often exasperated by his kid brothers pranks, but Ben had never doubted that the two cared deeply for each other.  
  
"We can only hope that time and distance will help Adam come to terms with what has happened." He told Joe now. "And that he'll come back in his own good time. But we'll always be family, Joe." He continued. "You'll always be Adam's brother, in the end he'll realise you weren't to blame I'm sure of it." He reached out and ruffled his son's hair fondly. "Try to get some sleep now."  
  
Joe watched his father leave; only slightly comforted by his words.  
  
****  
  
Winter was harsh that year, snow lay thick on the ground and icy winds blew day and night, making it uncomfortable to work outside, even well wrapped up. It was very beautiful though, thought Ben, the stark pines against the pristine white, a weak winter sunshine glinting on the surface of the snow and the frigid waters of the lake. He looked across to where Joe was breaking the ice that had formed on the water troughs, a job that needed doing three or four times a day in this weather. Ben was concerned about his youngest son, Joe had contracted a cold a week or so previously and it seemed to Ben to be hanging on far too long, he could hear Joe coughing now as he trudged through the snow towards him.  
  
"Hi, Pa" Joe looked up at his fathers approach.  
  
"I don't like the sound of that cough, Joseph." Ben frowned as Joe coughed again. "I want you to go back to the house and we'll get the doctor out to take a look at you."  
  
"I'm all right." Joe protested. "Beside there's too much needs doing around here for me to be sick."  
  
"Don't argue, Joseph." Ben ordered. "Back to the house-now!"  
  
And in truth Joe was glad to stop work, his chest was hurting when he breathed and the racking cough left him feeling slightly woozy, his legs and arms ached and he was very cold. Shrugging he obeyed his father and headed back to the house.  
  
****  
  
"Well, that cold of yours has turned into an attack of bronchitis." The doctor shut his bag with a snap and looked at Joe. "You have a slight fever and a very bad cough but with care you'll be fine. I want you to keep warm and get plenty of rest, no need to stay in bed if you feel well enough to get up but no going outside in this weather, understood?"  
  
Joe nodded in agreement, the doctor turned to Ben. "I think he'll be fine." He assured him. "Just make sure he does as I say."  
  
"Oh, I'll make sure of that." Ben replied, he saw the doctor out then returned to Joe who was lying on the couch in front of the fire, the warmest place in the house in this icy weather. Ben touched his son's forehead gently; he did feel very warm, though not burning, to the touch.  
  
"Sorry, Pa." Joe said looking up at him.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"You could've done without me getting ill right now, the extra work it will cause." He stopped as his body was shaken once again by a bout of coughing.  
  
"Your health is the most important thing." Ben assured him fondly, he looked round as the front door opened and Hoss came in out of the snow.  
  
"All right for you little brother." He teased Joe gently. "Sitting here in front of that nice warm fire, while I'm workin' out there in the cold."  
  
"I'd swap places in a minute." Joe replied, a slight edge to his tone.  
  
Ben frowned at Hoss, warning him to drop the subject, he recognised that his youngest was still plagued with guilt over Stephanie's death and Adam's absence from the ranch, now his illness and inability to work were adding to that burden  
  
"Why don't you boys play a game of checkers while Hop Sing finished dinner?" Ben suggested now and was relieved when his sons agreed to a game and settled down amicably together to play.  
  
****  
  
  
A week later Joe was feeling much better, he was alone in the house, Ben and Hoss were out working, Hop Sing had gone into Virginia City.  
  
A thaw had begun the previous day but this afternoon it had grown colder, the clouds thickening, bringing the threat of a further fall of snow.  
  
Joe was bored, he tried reading but the book he had borrowed from Adam's room failed to keep his attention. What harm could it do, he thought, if he just slipped out to the stable for a while to see Cochise, his father need not know if he just spent a hour or so grooming his horse. Making the decision he reached for his jacket and shrugging into it pulled open the door.  
  
He was surprised at just how cold it felt outside, Ben had kept the fire in the house burning day and night since he got ill and the outside air struck icy against his face and hands after the warmth of the ranch house.  
  
The sky was grey white with cloud and a few flakes of snow were beginning to drift to the ground as Joe reached the stable.  
  
Cochise snickered softly as Joe began to groom him, the motion was relaxing and Joe let his thoughts drift, finishing his task he was startled to realise that the light was fading outside which meant his father and brother would soon return. He gave Cochise a final pat and started back to the house. Opening the stable door Joe was amazed to find that over the last hour the snow had formed a blanket at least a foot deep over the ground, closing the door behind him he hurried toward the house anxious to get in and get his damp boots off before his father got home, he had no wish to bear the brunt of Ben's wrath if he found out that he'd been out against the doctor's orders.  
  
The yard was icy beneath the snow and in his haste Joe missed his footing and fell heavily, Damn, he thought rising quickly and brushing the snow off his clothes, he might have time to change but his jacket was soaked, he'd just have to hope his father didn't notice.  
  
****  
  
  
Ben and Hoss returned to the house to find Joe exactly where they had left him that morning, reading on the couch  
  
"Evening Pa, Hoss." Joe greeted them innocently, too innocently for Ben who gave his youngest a sharp glance noticing that he had changed his clothes since he last saw him. Immediately Ben's suspicions were aroused, he glanced across to the coats hanging by the door, Joe's winter coat was there but he couldn't see his green jacket. Hanging his own coat up, Ben moved Joe's winter coat aside, his sons jacket was hung beneath it and Ben could see that it was wet, sighing Ben turned to his youngest. "Joseph." His voice was angry enough to make Joe start guiltily. "Where have you been this afternoon?"  
  
Asked directly Joe didn't lie. "Just out to the stable, Pa." He explained. "I was so bored and I'm feeling fine." As if to belie this statement he was suddenly shaken by a fit of coughing.  
  
"You may be an adult." Ben's voice rose angrily. "But sometimes Joseph you behave like an irresponsible child."  
  
"Aw Pa..." Hoss interjected. "Ain't no harm done."  
  
"And how do we know that?" Ben asked him, then turned again to Joe. "You obviously got pretty wet?" He said. "Might I ask how?"  
  
"Fell over in the snow." Joe told him. "But I'm fine, Pa, honestly."  
  
"I give up." Ben felt his anger building. "You know that the doctor told you to stay out of this weather, you've been standing out in that cold stable for Lord knows how long, you could have aggravated that cough. As if it isn't bad enough that Adam..." He stopped abruptly, Joe was staring up at him, his jaw set, anger flashing in his eyes.  
  
"Bad enough that Adam isn't here." Joe finished for him steadily. "That there's not enough people around here to do all the work and it's all my fault." With that he got up from the couch and headed for the stairs.  
  
"I didn't mean that at all." Ben told him, his anger fading as quickly as it had risen.  
  
Joe shrugged. "I'm tired." He said. "I'm going to bed."  
  
****  
  
Awaking in the night Ben lay for a moment wondering what had woken him, then he realised he could hear Joe coughing harshly. Slipping from bed and reaching for his dressing gown he headed for his youngest sons room.  
  
Joe turned to look at his father as he reached his bedside. "Guess you were right about making this cough worse." He whispered.  
  
"Joe, you're shivering." Ben touched his son's forehead gently; he felt icy cold to the touch and was shivering violently.  
  
"I'm so cold Pa and it hurts some when I breath." Joe told his father.  
  
"Let's get you downstairs by the fire where it's warmer." Ben assisted his son out of bed reaching for pillows and a blanket to take with him.  
  
Getting Joe settled on the couch Ben regarded his son with concern, he had stopped shivering but he looked terrible, his skin was ashen and his green eyes, usually so full of life were dull. Ben felt a rush of fear as he looked at Joe's pale countenance "I'll get some more blankets." Ben headed for the stairs. "Try to get some sleep now, if you're no better by the morning I'll send Hoss for the doctor. "That Joe made no protest frightened Ben even more.  
  
Ben sat by his son for the remainder of the night, his concern growing with each passing hour. Joe had begun to run a fever which rose relentlessly so that by morning he was burning to the touch, he complained that it hurt to breath and he was coughing uncontrollably which, Ben could see, was exhausting him.  
  
As dawn approached Ben woke Hoss telling him to dress quickly and go and fetch the doctor. One look at his brother moving restlessly on the couch his eyes glittering now with fever made Hoss decide to forego any breakfast before the journey into Virginia City. Outside the snow still lay deep but no further fall had occurred, Hoss wasted no time in saddling Chubb and heading off.  
  
****  
  
  
"Well, Ben, he's a very sick young man." The doctor told Ben after examining Joe. "I'm afraid that it's pneumonia and as you know that can be a killer."  
  
Ben nodded numbly; he had known many people who had died of the disease, not too many who had recovered. Fear clutched at his heart at the thought of losing his beloved youngest child.  
  
"Try and keep his temperature down, keep him quiet." The doctor ordered. "I'll give you something to help control the cough. Call me back immediately if he starts to cough up any blood, I'm sorry I can't stay Ben but I have a woman in labour in Virginia City, I must get back."  
  
"Yes of course." Ben saw the doctor to his horse and returned quickly to Joe, lying still on the couch, Hoss by his side.  
  
"Pa." Hoss looked up anxiously at his father. "Pa, he's asking for Adam."  
  
Ben sighed, moving to kneel beside his youngest son. "Joe." He said softly. "Adam's not here son, you know that."  
  
"I've got to see him, Pa." Joe replied. "I need to see him."  
  
Ben looked down at his treasured boy, observing the desperation in the green eyes that stared into his he came to a decision. "Try to sleep." He told Joe, smoothing his son's soft curls. "Hoss will get Adam for you."  
  
Joe smiled at his father's words; in his fevered state he didn't question the logic of the statement but obediently closed his eyes.  
  
"And how in tarnation am I gonna get Adam?" Hoss asked. "Last I heard tell he was back east."  
  
"I have a confession to make." Ben told his middle son now. "Adam has written twice since his letter from back east, he sent the letters to a friend who passed them on to me, he feels that he is beginning to come to terms with what happened and he thinks he'll be able to come home soon, however he didn't want you or Joe to know until he was sure."  
  
"Dadburnit, Pa, where is he?" Hoss queried urgently.  
  
"With this friend about five miles outside of Virginia City." Ben told him.  
  
"Tell me where and I'll go fetch him right now."  
  
Ben fetched Adam's last letter and told Hoss the address of the friend Adam was staying with.  
  
"And if he don't wanna come back with me?" Hoss asked as he prepared to leave.  
  
"He will Hoss, he must." Ben looked over at Joe. "Tell him his little brother needs him."  
  
"I'll get him here." Hoss took a last look at Joe then turned and went out to his horse.  
  
****  
  
  
Hoss felt nervous as he neared the house where Adam was staying, he hadn't seen his older brother in months and now instead of the reunion he had hoped might happen he must bring Adam more bad news.  
  
He had ridden Chubb hard through the snow covered landscape and had made good time, the snow dissipated as he neared Virginia City so the going became easier. Now he reigned to a halt before a small cabin with smoke rising from its chimney. Dismounting he tethered Chubb to the hitching post and approached the cabin door hesitantly, before he could knock the door was flung wide and Adam stood there grinning at him  
  
"Saw you from the window." He laughed. "Good to see you Hoss, so Pa told you I was here then?" He broke off as he saw the look on his younger brothers good-natured face. "What is it Hoss?" He asked urgently "Not Pa...?"  
  
"No, not Pa." Hoss took off his hat and twisted it awkwardly in his large hands. "It's Little Joe, Adam, he's real bad."  
  
"Joe" Adam's face took on a grim expression. "What's wrong with him?" He asked after a lengthy pause.  
  
"Pneumonia." Hoss stated baldly.  
  
Adam turned and re-entered the cabin, Hoss following him, it was a trim little place everything neat and tidy, the fire burning brightly on the hearth and an aroma of fresh brewed coffee in the air.  
  
"Pete and his wife have gone into Virginia City." Adam said, he indicated a chair. "Sit down, I'll get you a coffee."  
  
Hoss took the hot coffee gratefully and nodded his thanks as he drained the cup.  
  
"Pa sent you?" Adam queried pouring Hoss another cup and one for himself.  
  
"Joe's askin' for you." Hoss fiddled with his cup unsure how to say what was in his heart. "You know he could die, Adam." He began. "You know pneumonia's a killer, Pa told me to tell you that Joe needs you."  
  
Adam placed his cup carefully on the table and looked bleakly at Hoss. "I don't know if I can face him." He said. "Every time I think of Joe I'm back in that corral with Stephanie."  
  
"Dagnabit Adam, you ain't still blamin' Joe for that, that little lady of your'n was just as stubborn as can be, Joe tried to stop her, oh perhaps he could've tried a bit harder but she'd justa kept tryin' till she got to ride that critter." Hoss stood up abruptly. "Joe's your baby brother." He continued. "You helped Pa raise him, surely you ain't gonna let him down now?"  
  
Hoss's words made Adam think, he remembered himself at around fourteen or so, Marie, Joe's mother, asking him to watch the toddler as she prepared a meal, he recalled his small brother scrambling up to sit beside him, he'd been so small then and so like his mother, with Marie's eyes, so full of life as well Adam thought, remembering Joe at around three following him everywhere asking endless streams of questions, "But why?" had seemed all Adam had heard from his small brother for months. He felt his heart grow heavy with dread at the thought of losing that small brother now. However angry Adam was with Joe he knew he still loved him, he worried for his father as well, if anything happened to Joe it would tear his father apart. "All right Hoss." he rose from the table. "I'll come back with you."  
  
Hoss heaved a grateful sigh of relief as Adam went to pack his things.  
  
****  
  
Joe's fever was very high, he drifted in and out of sleep, Ben could do nothing but bathe him in cool water in an attempt to bring the fever down and pray that his son would be strong enough to fight the disease. He sat beside Joe holding him through the dreadful bouts of coughing which shook his body and hurt his chest. It was falling dusk when at last Ben heard the horses outside, crossing to the door he flung it open and greeted his eldest son with open arms.  
  
"It's so good to see you, Adam." He smiled. "It's been a long time."  
  
Adam embraced his father, he could see how worried Ben looked and as Hoss led the horses to the stables he asked. "How is he Pa?"  
  
"Not too good, Adam." Ben led the way into the house. "He's sleeping at the moment but he has a very high fever."  
  
Crossing to the couch Adam stood looking down at his brother, He looks no more than a child when he's asleep, he thought, but such a pale child with dark shadows under his eyes. As if aware of the watcher Joe stirred, his eyes flickered open and he stared up at his eldest brother. Ben held his breath as Adam hesitated for a moment,  
  
"Adam." Joe gasped, then his body was shaken with harsh, choking coughing.  
  
Adam came around the couch and knelt beside his brother, gently smoothing his fevered brow until the coughing subsided. "I'm here now buddy." Adam spoke calmly, soothingly. "All your family's here."  
  
"You're staying?" Joe's tone was anxious.  
  
"I'm staying right here until you're well." Adam told him and reassured, Joe closed his eyes and let sleep reclaim him.  
  
"Thank you, Adam." Ben said placing a fond hand on his eldest son's shoulder.  
  
Adam looked up at his father, he looked so worried, he thought, and so tired. "Get some rest, Pa." He told him. "I'm here now, I'll take care of Joe, go on, we can talk later."  
  
And Ben knew that Joe would be in safe hands whilst he slept, he was reluctant to leave Joe's side but he was so exhausted that eventually he gave in and retired to bed, first extracting promises that he would be awakened immediately if Joe's condition should change.  
  
Through the long reaches of the night Adam and Hoss stayed with their brother, listening to Joe's laboured breathing, the harsh racking cough. Joe slept fitfully waking occasionally as if to reassure himself that Adam was still there.  
  
****  
  
  
As morning dawned Ben descended the stairs looking anxiously to his sons, fear in his heart. "How is he?" He asked urgently.  
  
"Much the same." Adam sighed, he stood and stretched. "I smell Hop Sing's good coffee brewing." He smiled. "Can I fetch you a cup Pa?"  
  
"Fine, fine..." Ben replied distractedly, his hand on Joe's forehead, feeling for himself the burning fever.  
  
"Go talk to Adam, Pa." Hoss whispered to his father. "Go on, I'll stay with Joe."  
  
Ben followed Adam into the kitchen, Hop Sing looked up at them anxiously, Ben reassured him that there was no change in Joe's condition, then looked at his eldest son who stood leaning against the table drinking his coffee. Adam was the least readable of his sons, Ben often thought, he was always so calm and collected so unlike the easy going Hoss and volatile Joe. Meeting his father's gaze now Adam smiled wryly. "No one makes coffee like Hop Sing." He remarked. "I've missed that these past few months."  
  
"Never mind the coffee." Ben needed to know what was going on with Adam but was reluctant to push him, unsure how to phrase his questions.  
  
"It's all right, Pa" Adam smiled. "I feel that I'm ready to come home to stay."  
  
Ben felt relief flood through him as Adam continued. "I'm sorry I blamed Joe for what happened, I couldn't stop thinking he should have stopped Stephanie somehow, I didn't listen to anyone, even her own father, who told me how she was. Of course she was determined and stubborn, she approached me in San Francisco you know, Pa." Ben nodded. "And it was her decision to get married so soon and to have a small wedding, I couldn't argue with her so why should Joe fare any better. It was what Hoss said that finally brought it home to me, I realise now that it was just a tragic accident of Stephanie's own making."  
  
Hearing Joe coughing again, Ben hurried back to his side  
  
"It hurts, Pa." Joe whispered, looking up as he approached.  
  
"I know, Joseph, I know" Ben took his sons hand in his own, he wished he could take his boys pain away, would gladly have suffered in his place if he could. Ben's sons were his world, his reason for being, he loved them all but there was no denying that there was a tender place in his heart for Joe, perhaps because he was the youngest, or perhaps because he was so sensitive, so easily hurt, so quick to trust, volatile and fiery with a face on which every emotion was played out and easy to read.  
  
Ben sent Adam and Hoss to get some sleep and settled himself to watch Joe, feeling his sons brow he was further alarmed at just how hot Joe was, his hair was damp with sweat and as the day passed he became less lucid as the severity of the fever brought delirium.  
  
The doctor arrived in the afternoon to check on his patient. "Snowing again." He observed as Adam opened the door to his knock. "Let's get inside out of this cold." He gave Adam a quick smile as he entered the house. "Good to see you back, Adam." He told him. "Your family have been worried about you."  
  
Ben came forward to greet his old friend and then watched worriedly as he examined Joe.  
  
"I'd say the next couple of hours are crucial, Ben." The doctor said gravely as he finished the examination. If the fever breaks soon I think he'll make it, if not..."  
  
"He'll make it." Ben sat down heavily in his chair. "He has to."  
  
All that afternoon Ben and Adam stayed close to Joe, Hoss went to chop wood for the fire to keep the house warm, it was all he could do to help his brother.  
  
Eventually Ben's exhaustion finally caught up with him and he dozed, still holding Joe's hand in his own, he woke to Adam gently shaking him. Coming fully awake Ben realised that Joe's hand was still held in his but the heat that had been emanating from it had gone, his eyes flew to Joe's face, the flush of fever had faded  
  
"He's cooler, Pa." Adam was saying jubilantly. "The fever's broken, I think he's going to make it!"  
  
Hoss entering the house in time to hear Adam's words let out a whoop of delight.  
  
Ben could only gaze in silent thankfulness at his youngest child, who lay peacefully in healing sleep.  
  
****  
  
  
The three elder Cartwrights stayed close to Joe over the next few days as he gradually recovered, his temperature returned to normal and the cough eased.  
  
"Seems to me there's a thaw startin' out there." Hoss said as he entered the house a few days later. "The ice on the troughs weren't near so thick today." He walked across to smile at Joe, who was sitting propped up on pillows; he was still pale and wan, still coughing a little. "How you doin' shortshanks?" Hoss asked him.  
  
"Not so bad." Joe managed a shaky grin. "Been better though."  
  
"Where's Pa and Adam?" Hoss queried.  
  
"Pa's with Hop Sing, Adam went out to see to Sport." Joe looked up at Hoss. "Has Adam said anything to you Hoss?" He asked. "Do you know if he's going to stay?"  
  
Hoss shook his head but Ben coming from the kitchen heard Joe's question and answered him. "Yes, Adam is staying." He said.  
  
Joe was pleased to hear his brother was home for good but he still carried the burden of guilt, still remembered all too well Adam's accusing words.  
  
****  
  
  
  
A week later, still weak but determined to get up and about again Joe headed for the stable to exercise Cochise. The snow had melted away and there were signs of spring in the air, tiny new buds on the trees and the green shoots of spring plants thrusting up through the earth. Joe was saddling Cochise when Adam entered the stable.  
  
"I wanted to talk to you." He told Joe. "I've got something I need to say."  
  
Joe turned to face his brother apprehensively.  
  
"Pa told me you've been looking after Stephanie's grave." Adam began, Joe nodded affirmatively. "And you've been doing my share of the work around here." Adam continued.  
  
"It was my fault you weren't here." Joe replied quickly. "And I'm so sorry, Adam, I should have tried harder to stop her I know that."  
  
Adam studied his younger brother seeing the guilt and sorrow on the young face. "Oh, Joe." He sighed. "I'm the one who's sorry, you've been feeling it was your fault all this time and I know now that it wasn't."  
  
Joe turned back to Cochise to hide the tears that threatened at Adam's words, he felt as though a heavy weight had been lifted from him.  
  
"I was just wondering." Adam enquired diffidently. "If you would like to come to San Francisco with me next week, Pa wants me to take care of some business for him."  
  
Turning to face Adam, Joe smiled widely at his eldest brother. "Only if you promise not to make me sit through any concerts." He said.  
  
Laughing Adam clapped his brother on the back. "It's a deal buddy."  
  
From the stable doorway where he had been watching unnoticed, Ben heaved a heartfelt sigh of relief; his family was intact once more.  
  
THE END  
  
© Kathleen Pitts 1999 


End file.
